we are all different

Tony took Max to his first day of preschool this week. He got to observe firsthand Max's first (and I'm sure not last) encounter with racial ignorance. A little boy pointed to Max and announced, "he's different!" The poor teacher went into cardiac arrest attempting to explain to the little boy that we are all the same inside although we all have different hair and eyes. . . blah blah blah. "No, that's not it," said the little boy, "he's different." Then the poor teacher flew to the library to scour the shelves for children's books on racial diversity after which she threw out the daily lesson plans and spent the rest of the afternoon on how we are all the same, even if our skin is different. Max's reaction was to give the kid his famous "you are stupid" look and roll his eyes. He was way more annoyed by the children that were too loud than the ones pointing out his skin color.

The lesson I learned from this experience was that neither Max nor his racially unaware friend benefited from the spontanteous diversity lesson. They really didn't care. In my opinion the correct response was to give the little boy a resounding, "Yep, he looks different. Now, let's eat our delicious carbohydrate packed school lunch of corn, rolls, tater tots and rice " By overreacting, or even bringing attention to the statement, we give the situation more emotion than it deserves. Max invited the same little boy over to play the next day and they spent a full hour playing "Daddy and Little Boy." Tommy was the Dad and Max was his son and I heard the cutest dialogue between the two of them indicating a complete lack of racial awareness. In the future, I hope I don't confuse simple statements of fact ("he's different" ) for instances of intolerance. That said, this is my rule of thumb for children. I think adults should know better.

Today at church a good hearted, but socially insensitive man, apologized to me for possible offenses he may have given. I don't remember having been offended by him, but I did agree, that even for me, some of his jokes cross the line. I told him to make fun of my kids all he wants, as individuals. What bothers me are jokes about my kids as part of racial stereotypes. I guess that is my line. If you cross the line be prepared for Max's withering "you are stupid" gaze and eye roll. That will teach you.