Weddings and Prom

 This is going to be an amazing season of weddings for our extended family and friends.  In March, Tony and I joined Mom and Dad and Lori and Blake, to attend Luke and Livi's wedding in the Payson temple.  This was a unique experience for us because Luke likes to wear makeup and tiaras.  He has pink hair and is an avid magician.   I loved the reality that the temple was a welcoming and not shaming place for him,  and the ceremony was lovely.  We especially enjoyed our time together on the drive and our dinner in Payson at Yummy Thai.

Last week I went with Mom and Dad Rippy to Alpine to celebrate Ellie and Evan's wedding at a beautiful dinner that Tyler and Chelsea hosted.  It was as delicious as it was picture perfect and the feeling among the family was tender.  They will be married in Portugal in May.  

This weekend was Sam's Prom.  On Monday night we went to search for prom clothes and prayers were answered when we found the perfect pants and tie.  A big group went together and did all the fun things that kids should do: eat out, play at the lake, paint canvases, go to the dance,  treat his date well.  I hope it built his confidence and will be a happy high school memory.  

Easter

It's been a beautiful spring and I can't imagine that we will ever have an Easter like we did this year.  On Palm Sunday we participated in the dedication of the Red Cliffs temple.  It was dedicated by Pres Eyring and felt personal because of our new assignment as temple workers.  Sam planned to join us, but he got a bloody nose. I felt disappointed he wasn't there, but appreciated him trying.  I never imagined living this close to a temple.  I can literally feel the power.  

We had such as fun several weeks of company before and after Easter.  Jill and her girls were here helped getting Addy established in St George as she begins nursing school.  She is staying with us until her apartment opens and has been fattening us up with her delicious baking.  Easter Sunday was a lovely presentation of music and testimony.  

This Easter I experienced an interesting blessing.  Atypically, instead of to do lists and worries, my last thoughts when I fell asleep and first thought when I woke up were on the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I felt joy and peace that I couldn't have created on my own.  I am expert at avoiding pain, but I tried really hard this week to imagine the dark days of death and acknowledge that I can't fully comprehend the gift of resurrection without experiencing that deep pain.  Because of Jesus Christ, the day I lose my parents, Tony or anyone I love, will be the longest time I am separated from them.  Everyday after that is one day closer to seeing them again, because of the resurrection of Christ.  This thought was the gift of Easter this year and has made made lean into, instead of away from, loss and death.

Jake and Callie and the kids joined us for Easter which made Maren especially happy. We hosted Easter dinner with quite a crowd:  Uncle Bob and Aunt Kathy, Mom and Dad, Jill and girls, Jake and Callie and kids and the Drippys.  Tony made the perfect lamb on the smoker and I made rosemary twice baked potatoes with gruyere cheese.  Even my apricot bundt cake was a success.  

It was a busy week of family coming and going with many opportunities to build connections.  Jill and Cameron are right in the thick of hard parenting and Dustin and Kimberly are deep in the planning of Corbin's just- announced wedding to Brit.   Tyler and Chelsea came on Thursday night to celebrate Kate's birthday and go 4 wheeling.  It was a terrifying and exhilerating experience for them and we are grateful everyone is safe.  

Except for Sam, none of our kids were here for Easter!  We were sad when Wilson didn't come.  He has distanced himself from us and it's hard.  Cooper stayed in Washington and is trying to make a difficult decision about changing jobs.  Eliza stayed in Provo to work since she had taken so much time off for her birthday. Max is still unemployed and doesn't tell us much.  We wish we knew the best way to help him, but trust that he is capable of figuring things out.  

Conference weekend was peaceful, because we were still riding the spirit of Easter and temple dedication. The focus on the temple completely affirmed our decision to be temple workers.  We are enjoying our Saturday nights mjore than we ever anticipated.  They keep telling us it is a sacrifice, but so far, it hasn't felt like one at all.  

The week after conference Addy's boyfriend Dillon came to stay.  We especially enjoyed our day in  Zion hiking with he and Addy.  We are blessed to have such an incredible place as our backyard.

Happy Birthday Eliza

 

Sam; a great parenting ending

 

New Mexico

 I think I might be addicted to travel.  Every trip I go on, every new place I see, just makes me want more.

New Mexico is beautiful.  We had a wonderful spring break.  I did feel a little sad that Sam declined our offers for a trip, but we sure saved a lot of money not having him come and it is fun to do the things we like to do without accommodating a 17 year old boy.

We ended up changing our tickets to leave Sunday instead of Saturday which allowed us to spend a happy day with Harlow, going to our nephew Adam's soccer games and attending our temple worker training.  We are pretty excited to work in the temple.  I am the chapel coordinator and Tony will rotate different lines.  The training was a little tedious.  I caught myself thinking about how much more efficient it could have been.  Thankfully, in answer to prayer, I heard Brad Christensen's voice say, "It's not about building house, it's about building relationships!"  Thank goodness for our Spark of Hope trips.  After that I was able to focus on "who" my work is not "what."  The temple will be dedicated on Palm Sunday and then we begin service on March 30th.  

We arrived in Albuquerque and drove up to Santa Fe.  Tony was excited to find restaurants featured on the the Drive ins, Dives, and diners tv show and they did not disappoint!  On Monday we explored Santa Fe and were shocked to discover what a center for art it is.  We both enjoyed the Georgia Okeefe museum, Canyon road art galleries and learning about sculptor Gib Singleton.  We learned about stations of the cross from his art.  That evening we stayed in the sweetest bungalow in Taos called nanna's cottage.  The owner left us farm fresh eggs, pancake mix and homemade coconut macaroons and we were in heaven.  We snuggled in and read and played games all night.  The next morning we took a wonderful hike in Taos then found one last recommended restaurant for breakfast.  I absolutely loved the morroccan pot pie with butternut squash, raisins, and chickpeas and Tony's gyro was delicious.  We ended our trip back in Albuquerque at a native American museum featuring native pots brought back from the Smithsonian.  Later we saw a Japanese Cannes film winner called A Perfect Day. We had dinner of popcorn and ice-cream with some supplemental treats from Whole Foods.    Albuquerque  paled in comparison to Santa Fe and Taos, but it was a relaxing few days without drama back home and proof that Tony and I are both compatible travel and life partners. 

Cooper James turns 25

Feb 27, 2024

Dear Cooper,

One night out of the blue Dad said, "I think I'll call Cooper."  I told him not to because I knew you were at work and didn't want him to bother you.  But because Dad is stubborn and doesn't listen to me, and more importantly because he does follow the promptings of the spirit, he called.  Our hearts broke that night as you expressed the legal situation you were in and your overwhelming feelings of despair.  I wanted to take away all that hurt and stress and give you some relief, like I have since you were put into my arms 25 years ago.   I know life will continue to throw hard challenges, big decisions and complicated relationships.  You are a capable, gifted, independent adult and you have all the tools to navigate the hard.  We are always here to support you.  There isn't anything you can do to lose our love.  It's been that way from the first time I saw your beautiful brown eyes and giant baby feet.  It's that way now.  Happy 25th Birthday sweet boy-I can't wait to be apart of the amazing life, love and family you have ahead of you.  

Love, Mom

Spark of Hope 2024

 I like Tony better in Mexico.  He says the same about me.  We go to Tijuana for several reasons.  We love getting to know amazing people, especially teenagers with exceptionally healthy brains.  This time it was especially a privilege to go with the Tyler family from our ward, especially my ministering partner.  Liz and Jared are beautiful humans and we got such a kick out of their kids.  We feel good being support staff to Kim and Brad.  We like the food.  We like speaking Spanish.  We like being aware of the miracles that happen.  For example, Mary cut her hand with a box knife and we just happened to have a hand surgeon on the trip.  He sewed her up and we didn't miss a beat.  We like the physical labor.  We like the friends in Mexico that inspire us, especially Ricardo.  

I was asked to pray before the home dedication this trip.  I had to write it out because I was so nervous.  Someday I will not need to do this.  Someday I'll speak Spanish clearly and beautifully.  

We built the house for a lovely mom named Larisa with 3 children and her sweet mom.  They were especially easy to love.  

After our painful 5 hour trip across the border, our VRBO in Oceanside was a welcome reprieve.  We walked on the pier, soaked in the hot tub and enjoyed a misty rain while we exercised in the beautiful gardens.  It was good to decompress before we returned home to our stinky teenager.  

winter. fun

 Last weekend afforded us many happy connections with people we love.  On Friday I was able to attend Carlos and Esthela's wedding in Saratoga Springs.  It was a beautiful event only slightly marred by food poisoning that left at least 13 guests projectile vomiting.  I only experienced the other end and to be honest, the birria tacos were still worth it.  I got to see Jake and Callie and the kids for just a few minutes and give them all hugs before I headed to Amy's to celebrate her birthday.  I always enjoy the one on one time with Amy and I think that is the gift she appreciates most.  We enjoyed a hike, a visit to her school, Judge Memorial, and lunch at Feldman's deli.  The latke's and matzo ball soup were amazing and we might have slightly overdone it on the reuban sandwich.  No more pastrami for us for at least a year.  We squeezed a DI visit and a clothing overhaul in too before I headed south to pick up Tony on the shuttle.   We met Jeff and Betsy and Brad and Kim for yummy Mexican food and then to see the Foreigner at the Hale theatre in Orem.  The play was great, although it's antagonists were members of the Klu Klux Klan and made us all very uncomfortable.  A highlight of the trip was seeing Jason and Andrea for the night.  We spent thge evening hashing out parenting and it turned. out to be a vulnerable night of self examination.  

My take away-after getting pushed hard by my friends (read Jason) was that although I feel convicted to double down on parenting Sam this last year, it will look different.  I don't need to teach.  Everything I've needed to say, has been said.  This year will be about invitation, modeling and loving with out expectation.  Betsy taught us a theory that emphasizes that children are entitled to certain things and parents are obligated to provide them.  This relationship is more vertical and highlights that children are not obligated to provide the same things to their parents.  When we obligate them, dysfunction occurs.  

I value respect and want my children to respect me.  I've tried to hard to require it, but I think I am grasping (thank you friends), that I can only earn respect or give respect. I cannot require it. I am obligated to give it, but my children are not obligated to ensure I feel respected.  Chelsea also pointed out that I can ensure self respect by having healthy boundaries, but that is only about me.  More to learn, but I was humbled and thankful for the paradigm shift that will give me a lot to work on this year.  

On Sunday morning we had a lovely breakfast with Tyler and Chelsea and were able to participate in Owen's ordination and be at church with him as he passed the sacrament.   I hope he knows we love. him whether or not he holds the priesthood, but that we believe his choice will result in a happier life.  

After church Betsy gave us a powerpoint presentation on Contextual Family Model (we are such nerds) then picked up Max to join us for family dinner.  Tony got to see Eliza as an answer to prayer when she walked across the parking lot, although she couldn't join us because of work.  Eliza is taking the semester off of school.  Max is working on getting healthy and finding a job.  We are proud of his efforts, although I struggle with feelings of resentment that are my problem not his.  

On Monday we enjoyed a lovely Rock Canyon hike with Jeff and Betsy.  Debbie and Rand made us a delicious roast lunch and we stayed to play games and visit.  We get such delight from Adam and Rachel.  

We had hoped to do some cross country skiing, but the snow just isnt quite ready.  On Wednesday we enjoyed a snow hike instead in Spring Creek Canyon.  It was fun to cross frozen sreams and tromp through the snow.  

On Thursday we said goodbye to Mom and Dad Lundberg as they headed off to a Bahamas cruise.  We were all horrified when the pilots didn't show up to fly the plane and they missed their cruise.  It is everyone's worst nightmare.  To be fair, this is the first time it has happened in almost 60 cruises!

Wilson has a new job working nights at Maverick.  We are proud of his efforts.

Cooper, all of our family, experienced a miracle this week.  One night Tony felt inspired to call Cooper and followed through despite my protests.  In that call we discovered that Cooper had an unpaid ticket for which he did not receive any correspondence from the county.  The county send warnings, revoked his license and finally issued a warrant for his arrest-all without his knowledge.  When he finally found out the amount of mental and financial stress was terrible.   Cooper was trying to work at his job while dealing with lawyers, police and bail.  We began fasting and praying for him and  now give Heavenly Father all the credit for the best case scenario outcome.  When Cooper appeared in court, the prosecuting attorney approached him and asked for the story.  Cooper told him and the attorney quickly acknowledged that it was the county's error.  He asked the judge to throw out the case and mail back the bail money.  Cooper replied to the judge, "With all due respect sir, I do not trust the mail system right now."  The judge laughed and told him they would hold the check until he could pick it up.  

Sam got rear ended by the high school baseball coach. It put a big whole in the back of his car, but we are most grateful he wasn't hurt.  He is working hard at his new job at confetti kids and working out with the football team.  

Harlow is blowing us away with her brilliant mind and advanced speech.  Today she named all the numbers from 1-10 and appears to know her colors.  She is busy and walking and continues to be pure joy.  Her favorite toy are the keys, where she announces, "I'm going to work!"