Our trip to Utah was an impressive consumption of the beautiful state's resources and beauty. We also mooches off a lot of friends, another impressive use of resources and connections! Eliza had the pleasure of her first solo flight to Salt Lake City on Monday where Aunt Debbie picked her up and delivered her to Uncle Rusty's RV. The three cousins Livia, Kimberly and Eliza, got spoiled by Grandma and Grandpa for three days. Eliza's favorite part was shopping, bowling and midnight pizza. She also loved grandma's misunderstandings about "on star-" and "pokemongo." Sadly neither big boy was able to join us, but that did mean lots of quality time with the little boys. To break up the trip we stayed the night in Idaho Falls. It's lovely and cheap traveling with two children. I see why people do it.
On Thursday we arrived at Megan and Jason's house. Utah was hot hot hot so we enjoyed eachs company in the cool church building, and waited for the evening hours to play at the park. Thursday night I had the pleasure of listening to Russ and Pam teach a climate for growth class. Russ is a master teacher, something I never knew. I learned a wonderful saying that is going to be the theme of my year: "to ask is to teach, to tell is to preach." I respect Russ and Pam so much for the hard work they have done to understand themselves and others. This was kind of the opening ceremony for a whole week of intense teaching.
Friday Russ, Pam, Tony and I enjoyed a session at the Provo temple and then met the other adults at Kneaders. It might be my new favorite place for steel cut oats. That afternoon we drove up the canyon for temperature relief, a picnic and water games. It was so fun to play slip and slide baseball with our highly competitive family. That night Grandma and Grandpa told stories from their youth and Zachary shared a beautiful letter about gaining his testimony. Eliza was particularly enthralled with the stories Grandma told about growing up in a polygamist family. Everyone else liked the pooping and farting stories.
Saturday morning was the fun run! Our t-shirts were so cute, a different color for each family. Pam did a great job with that project. We played more games in the canyon with the jumprope and frisbee. Tony took a major nose dive onto the cement, thus fulfilling his tradition of injury. We ended the reunion with a delicious catered Mexican lunch and said our goodbyes. I initiated the 16 personalities test, which I thought would elicit good discussion and help get to know each other. This turned out to be a mistake.
As is our tradition, we spent the night with Deb and Rand and went to church with them on Sunday. We went to dinner while the kids were at a movie. As a highly neurolinguistic being, I asked a lot of probing questions. I make sense of my world and try to understand people with language. For the first time in my life I came to the realization that not everyone appreciates this approach. Debbie explained that she felt attacked, that my intensity comes across as hardened and that I seem to lack feeling and emotion. I was stunned, but grateful to know this. She also said that my overconfidence and sure sense of identity makes her feel insecure. This I cannot help. Our discussion became a catalyst for fascinating discussions the rest of the week.
Sunday after church we went to say goodbye to Jake and Callie in Bountiful. It was so fun to see them all packed into their Ryder truck ready for the best adventure of their life. It brought back every happy memory of our beginning. Poverty and potential is a time of life I would love to go back to!
That evening we stayed the night Workmans. It was fun to see how their kids have grown and how their family has changed. Monday was the low point of our trip. I had been on a run that morning without my phone. Wilson had broken into the house in a rage and thrown a table at Cooper in bed. It was essentially breaking and entering and assault. Had we been home we would have called the police. We did not want Coop to have the burden of making that call. Wilson left and Cooper was able to settle down enough to start his harvest truck driving job. Thankfully Tony was on an airplane home. It was a terrible feeling to hear Coop that distressed and be helplessly miles away. To make matters worse Marcos was answering the distress texts from Cooper. He answered as a 9 year old, not a compassionate Mom and it upset Coop terribly. As a result we typed up restraining orders and have asked Wilson not to be in our home if Cooper is here. The hate and anger is eating Cooper up, but we have to respect the boundary he has requested. I feel torn in two. Betsy gave me good advice. She said that pitying Cooper does him no good. When I feel sorry for him it only feeds into a false belief that it is my fault and my responsibility to make life fair. That is simply not the case. Life is not fair. Turning to the Savior is the only relief from that hard thing.
Monday I took Eliza to BYU for the big EFY week. She was so excited and happy to have Anna with her. Despite all the jokes about buying a testimony, the experience of being with hundreds of kids who are like you is worth the money. Eliza said that EFY taught her she needs to be in her scriptures every day and that she feels the spirit more often than she recognizes. Again, totally worth the money. While at BYU Betina and I took the kids to the art museum. I loved it. I loved the classiness and the sheer pride of being associated with the way BYU does things right. I also got to see how Yoga has transformed Betina into a more peaceful and patient person. I was so impressed and inspired with the calm way she handled Ivy's total meltdown. We enjoyed some BYU creamery ice cream, but we had to eat it in record time because of the hellacious heat. Monday night we had a picnic up in the canyon with Betina's family. Fried chicken and splashing in a cold mountain stream surrounded by the beautiful mountains takes my breath away. As a special added bonus my lovely friend Devery joined us. I am so inspired by her deliberate happiness. Life has not turned out how she thought, so she is going to have a great life anyway, with wonderful experiences and great relationships. I love her.
On Tuesday I joined Betina for her yoga class. It was intense and I wasn't really fond of the instructor touching me, but it sure was a good workout. After Ivy's famous pancakes for breakfast we went on a hike up the canyon to a waterfall. I loved this like I love running in the wheat fields. The mountain hikes have also healed my friend. After goodbye snow-cones we said farewell to the Workmans and the boys and I spent the afternoon at the Bean Museum. We had a great time and it was the perfect size for an afternoon. We did some school shopping and then over to Betsy's.
I loved Betsy's house at once. She has created a piece of heaven. Betsy is my greatest proof that when we keep our covenants, God keeps his promises. Everything Betsy ever wanted is falling into place. Jeff came over and we got to discuss wedding plans a bit. He could not be more perfect for her. She is loving school at BYU has been asked to TA a class, not because she is the most capable, but because she has immeasurable life experience. Every loss that she ever felt is being made up. Watching her gives me tremendous hope. She is truly twitter pated. Its fun to see her this happy.
On Wednesday while Betsy was at school, we met up with the Winwards at the museum of curiosity. Actually, I took the Winward boys because Debbie spent the day in and out of the doctors office trying to manage Rebecca's broken hand! Such a bummer. The museum of Chaos and Entropy as I like to define it, was super fun for the kids. They spent most of their time playing tag on the big rope web and in the outdoor maze. There were a lot of children there. And a lot of pregnant people. I forgot what it is like to be immersed in the culture of multiplying and replenishing the earth. Its very noisy and busy--and happy.
Wednesday night we headed to Tyler and Chelsea's. Evan made us delicious Tilapia for dinner. Tyler had a meeting that night, but Chelsea and I talked about all kinds of things. Chelsea is also neurolinguistic and asks lots of thought provoking questions. She is also a very different personality from me and I find her fascinating. She has done so much work learning about healthy living--all very interesting theories. Owen was a great entertainer as well.
On Thursday Chelsea introduced me to Acai bowls, delicious smoothies with yogurt, granola, nuts. On of the treasures of visiting people is the chance to taste new foods. We spent the morning at the neighbor's beautiful and posh pool. I loved discussing identity, friendship, honesty and vulnerability with Chelsea. She is willing to ask and answer hard questions. If I can have a once a year talk like that with Chelsea, I would say our relationship is good. After our second set of goodbye snow cones we said farewell to Rippys--at least for a week until CSC 2016.
Thursday night the kids watched endless movies while I indulged in my favorite activity of all--deep discussion and graphing. Betsy, Savannah, Brooklyn and Jeff's daughter Brenda and I talked for 4 hours hashing out a diagram that I call the Identity rubric. It is a measuring stick for identity based on four areas: 1. divine nature-knowing intrinsic worth as a divine daughter. 2. confidence-based on skills, talents or physical appearance. 3.--individual worth--an ability to be motivated by integrity to self rather than to please others. 4. security--defined by relationships with others. I think this rubric helps identify where our identity weakness and strengths are. I'm still working on the diagram, but my favorite part is the big circle in the middle representing the Atonement of Christ. It is the solution to improvement in all areas. I'm still working on identifying the "red flag" emotions or behaviors that indicate an area of weakness. So far they include: 1. judging others 2. doubt 3. lack of boundaries 4. emotional walls. The red flag behavior that indicates a lack of applying the atonement is shame. That was my favorite revelation. Without oversimplifying people, this rubric has really helped me understand them. It was a cool revelatory experience.
Friday we had a tender mercy. The air-conditioning went out in my car. As previously mentioned, Utah is a burning inferno. Thankfully, on Rand's recommendation, we were able to drop my car off and get a new compressor ($1000--ouch) so that it would be fixed for the drive home. Meanwhile, Betsy and I took the boys up the canyon to explore wedding venues. I'm not sure what she will decide, but we had fun looking and had some good talks in the car. John even opened up and shed some tears about not being sure about this marriage thing. It will be a big transition for everyone, but hard is not bad, its just hard. We stayed up way too late on Friday night cleaning out Betsy's closet but I felt like it was my duty to help her make physical and emotional space for Jeff. Plus I always love the handmedowns. The crowning victory happened at 11:30 at night when we ordered the perfect wedding dress from JCrew at 40% off!! Again, Betsy's life as proof that good will come to those who keep the faith.
Saturday morning we were out the door early to go pick up Eliza and Anna from EFY to make the 12 hour drive home. I didn't even have to drink a zip fizz to stay awake. I'm sure thankful for BYU devotional podcasts that inspired me the whole way home. Back in St John, I was so glad to see Tony. We don't do well apart. We were meant to be together and every year it becomes more evident. Overall it was a wonderful trip, with lots of strengthened relationships and growing opportunities.
Friday, August 26, 2016
Sunday, August 21, 2016
csc 2016
I hate to sound too prideful, but CSC 2016 was like something out of a Hallmark movie. The biggest suprise was having Jeff and Stacey show up with baby Finn. We were all so happy to have them. Mom and Dad did a beautiful job at our kickoff campfire introducing the theme of "trying is succeeding." I taught everyone the new verse to "Jesus once was a Little Child." It goes:
"Jesus taught us to come to Him, repent and try again.
And never give up when life gets too hard, we make a mistake or sin."
Our weather was perfect, the water was perfect and we have our menu down to a science of yumminess. The yoga mats were a big success and family yoga on the beach overlooking the water is truly a piece of heaven. Chelsea is a gifted instructor for sure.
Jill, Kate and I swam the river, but this year Kate kicked out butts. She is an amazing swimmer. Another highlight was the Rippy family trivia game developed by Dustin and Kimberly. We did it around the campfire and it turned out hilarious. It was a great family history lesson too. One of the biggest highlights was the trip to clay island. Despite protestations from parents, Grandpa brought a big bucket where where the kids collected clay. They brought it back to camp and made the most amazing creations. It kept their attention for hours. Grandpa was right about this one. Another happy memory was Grandmas 27 loaves of banana bread.
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