rock bottom

At 2:30 am Friday morning we heard a loud thump.  Tony got up to check on the kids and found Wilson disoriented, incoherent and covered in vomit.  He was trying to climb a wall and couldn't even put his shirt on.  It was terrifying.  Tony discovered an empty bottle of Benadryl. We got him into the car and Tony took him to the ER. He spent the the next 24 hours in four point restraints, violent, agitated and confused.  Tony went last night to give him a blessing.  He finally slept peacefully and we went to visit him before church.  I feel grateful that he has been safe.  Tony and I both feel that he got frustrated that he couldn't sleep and with his terrible judgement, kept taking pills.  It wasn't a suicide attempt but it was a sure sign of a broken brain.  We are trying to use this experience as a springboard for getting him help.  Wilson needs help.  He should not have to live with so much anxiety, agitation, and misery.  We are so hopeful that Dr Fielding the counselor can help us get him into a facility to help, or that Heavenly Father will show us what we can do to help him.

I sent out emails to our friends and family and started a fast.  I woke this morning to a flood of love and support.  I know the plan of salvation is real.  I don't understand how mental illness fits in the plan.  I believe in priesthood power available through the sealing power of covenants.  It does not mean the experiences on this earth aren't ridiculously painful.  


We brought Wilson home on a Sunday afternoon, despite our better judgment.  We were awoken again at 1:00 Sunday morning with a request from Wilson to go back to the hospital.  This time he had taken more pills and had tried to cut himself.  I called 911.  Wilson was taken to the ER in Colfax and then transported to St Joseph's hospital in Lewiston.  He was diagnosed with bipolar and was treated with Lithium.  He was discharged on Friday.  He wasn't allowed to come home, so he called Louis and Larena and they drove to Lewiston to get him.  It has been two weeks.  He sleeps all day and plays video games all night.  He is not a functioning adult by any stretch.  I know that it will not be through Tony and I that he changes.  It will be through someone else.  I pray all the time for that someone.  Bishop Dailey and Dad have stepped in and have relieved our burden as much as they can.  I know we are supposed to be patient and let Wilson heal.  It continues to be so sad.