Despite my over-active sense of worth and identity, one of my insecurities is the potential to be seen as a disingenuous, bossy know it all. I want most for people to see me as real and genuine. On Sunday, I faced that fear and got vulnerable by bearing my testimony. I shared my strong feelings about the blessings of the Abrahamic covenant, restored priesthood keys, and temple covenants. Sue Mellor shared her testimony after me and began by saying, "My testimony isn't as deep as Kelly Lundbergs." This statement stung, as it seemed to confirm my fear of being perceived as a fraud. I wrestled with the hurt for three days. I pride myself on being un-offendable and was annoyed that I couldn't shake the offense. As I was preparing my seminary lesson in Daniel I came across this statement: "He revealeth the deep and secret things: he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him." In an instance God changed my heart. Sue's words immediately felt like a compliment, and more importantly, a confirmation from Heavenly Father to keep thinking deeply, asking hard questions and discovering mysteries and secrets. It was an instantaneous change and beyond my power. I felt a little like Alma the Younger.
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