anxiety

Friday I spent the day in Seattle attending a conference on Childhood Anxiety Disorder. My secondary motivation was CEUs to keep up my certification, but my primary motive was to learn how to deal with Max's anxiety. For example, today in primary he chose to sit outside in the snow (without a coat) rather than attend his primary class. Tony eventually figured out that he was afraid of having the door shut. As soon as the door was open, he participated without problem.

Last week I was at my wit's end with the kid and prayed hard. My answer was to give him a cheese stick before any type of discipline. This was probably one of my weirdest answers to prayer, so weird I truly doubted it as an answer. Interestingly, in the first 15 minutes of my conference, the presenter emphasized the significance of maintaining blood sugar levels in decreasing anxiety in children. That explains the cheese stick. I was reminded yet again of my total dependence on the Lord in raising these kids, especially the neurotic and claustrophobic 4-year old ones.

Eliza's song and Max's threat

Where Is My Dolphin

Oh where has my dolphin gone?

Oh where, oh where has he gone?

He swam right into a shark's mouth.

Now where shall I find him?

In heaven of course, In heaven of course,
In heaven of course, In heaven of course.

That's where I shall find him.

written and performed by Eliza Lundberg on a Saturday night. She says the pizza inspired her.



Tony and I were "exchanging words" in the car when Max firmly decreed, "Stop fighting or I will spray you in the face with poison! It will BURN YOUR EYES!"

I have never once used this parenting technique and swear I do not know where he learned it. This is my official statement for the likely ensuing CPS investigation.

backtracking blessings

I'm backtracking blessings. The Friday after Christmas was awesome. The Hughes were here in Spokane for James to receive ECT treatment so they and the Hainsworths came (very sad without the Hughes kids) to stay the night and party like it was the new year. The total highlight for me was having Andrea and Betsy rearrange furniture and help me paint a music room. Betsy had a brilliant idea to paint my boy's old red desk and use it for an entertainment center. It cost me not a cent and is perfect downstairs with the new white-trash, big-ass TV that Tony bought. I loved our morning snowshoeing adventure too, but the selfish part of me needed them to improve my surroundings. A true friend doesn't worry about hurting feelings, they just tell you what you need, and they are exactly right.

Tony borrowed a snowmobile from some very generous friends and he and Jason entertained kids for hours--until they broke the snowmobile. Apparently Cooper was a maniac, he even scared Wilson! My favorite part was keeping the kids here and putting the adults up in hotel rooms. I think it was fun for them and was totally unstressful for me. A new tradition I think. Proving once again that St John has it all.

stop splashing

I went for a long walk on Sunday. It was dark and the stars were just coming out; lovely cool weather. I stopped on our foot bridge and watched the water tumbling in the creek and was reminded of Elder Bednar's stream analogy. He said following the spirit is like jumping into a cold river on a hot day. The first few times in, the temperature is shocking. After a while we get used to it and the longer we float in the river, it feels refreshing and comfortable.

For whatever reason I have been blessed with a life that has allowed me to feel the spirit often. After 37 years, I think I'm basically in the river, following the spirit most of the time. The problem is the splashing. I feel constantly compelled to expend vast amounts of energy frantically splashing and flailing as I move downstream. I have the mistaken idea that my efforts are somehow helping me go the right direction. But I am already going the right way. My splashing is a useless waste of energy. It wears me out and prevents me from enjoying the scenery, the ride, the refreshing cool water.

The message on the bridge was clear. This year I must learn to stop splashing.

welcome new year

2009 has begun. We celebrated New Year's Eve with our friends the Allisons playing a lot of video games and feasting on Tony's deliciously cooked prime rib. The first day of the New Year Tony took Wilson, Cooper and Eliza skiing and I stayed home with the little ones and cleaned house top to bottom. It didn't last, but it sure felt good.

We had a good fast today for Mom and Dad. Mom has been so sick. I don't know what is worse, watching your children or your mother suffer--both leave me feeling helpless and horrible.

December 2008

December has come and gone without an official blog. It was a wonderful Christmas. This is my top 25 list: 1. Max, Marcos, and I picked out and hauled home the Christmas tree. Max is proud to have picked it. 2. Our advent activity this year was to open a wrapped Christmas book every night in December. Big success. 3. Max and Marcos and I spent a morning at the nursing home playing kick ball. Max beaned a 102 year old lady in the head and the best entertainment was watching Marcos try to pick up balls bigger than him. 4. Our family participated in the Winterfest parade for the second time in 9 years. 5. Our friends the Wekins arrived from the East coast and we battled terrible weather to join them for a super tasty fondue party. 6. Wilson is Santa Claus in the school play and sings a solo. Max, Cooper and Eliza participate as well. 7. A delicious dinner and fun gift exchange at the Whitman Medical Group party. The keyboard was a great success and I didn't have to be in charge. 8. I got a new pressure canner for Christmas and had the audacity to give out jars of beans and bacon with wishes for a "rootin' tootin' Christmas! 9. I felt like a newly engaged girl as I proudly wore my engagement diamond in my grandmother's ring. 10. Snow, Snow, Snow! 11. The Lundbergs brave sub zero temperatures for a beautiful afternoon of sledding in the pristine white. 12. Three house fires in our ward, including one burned to the ground, help remind us of our material blessings and especially of our non material blessings. 13. It is nice to live in a town where the word Christmas is permitted at school. I even taught the Christmas story of Maria, Jose and Jesus in the kid's classrooms. 14. Grandma and Grandpa Lundberg gave the kids some Christmas money which they spent on each other! It was so nice to have them thinking more of each other than themselves. 15. Shoveling snow everyday is a good abdominal and arm workout. 16. The St John church members join for a night of fellowship to enjoy the first presidency Christmas broadcast, brownies and candycane ice cream. 17. Tony and I have spend a day together and an evening sleeping over with our friends the Hughes. James is receiving medical treatment and it has been a blessing to spend quality time with them. 18. Christmas Eve at Fredericksons was peaceful and beautiful, but the ride home was the scariest we've ever had. Giant snow drifts, derranged deer, and subzero temperatures meant that Santa's helpers got a late start and finally tumbled into their beds at 2:30 in the morning. 19. The power goes out with perfect timing after dessert and we spend a lovely evening admiring stars in the crystal sky and snuggled up by the fire to read "Gift of the Magi." 20. Tony and I stayed up late making marshmellow--heaven forbid we go through a Christmas season without Grandpa's Rocky Road. 21. With only a half hour's notice, I got to attend the Symphony Christmas performance with a lovely group of methodists from St John. 22. Eggnog French toast on Christmas morning--Wilson's delicious idea. 23. Gingerbread trains --I always wonder if it is worth the work until that wonderful gingerbread smell fills the house. 24. "Cancelled due to weather" meant no school, basketball, church activities and even work. Winter brought the best gift of no place to go! 25. Everyone was surprised and happy and expressed gratitude for their Christmas gifts. Not too little, not too much, just right. OK--the new TV may have been a little over the top, but we had one happy Daddy as a result.