Happy Birthday Wilson

 Dear Wilson,

Your birthday letter this year is bittersweet. I feel overwhelmed with emotions which will be hard to put into words. On July 17, Wednesday, we hosted a BBQ with two of your roommates Mike and Jake.  We had a nice evening of food and conversation.  You'd mentioned you might like to fish at the pond by your house, so we gave you a new fishing pole.  You were disappointed Harlow couldn't join us, but we had a calm and happy evening.  Dad and I tried hard, as we have for 28 years, to make it a special day where you could feel our love.  

Your frustration with not seeing Harlow continued throughout the week.  On Saturday you made arrangements to spend the day with her at our house, but you had an ulterior motive for coming.  When Harlow was down for a nap, you took my phone and locked yourself in the bathroom to go through my texts with Wendy.  When I confronted you, you told me you were gathering evidence.  You asked if I was ashamed.  I wasn't ashamed, because I don't have anything to hide.   I felt terribly betrayed.

In the Book of Mormon, when Alma and Korihor argue about whether or not there is a God, Korihor insists that there is no evidence of God or His love.  Alma counters that there is overwhelming evidence of God and His love everywhere including the stars and the world and His Son.  For whatever reason, you seem to spend most of your time and energy like Korihor, looking for evidence that I don't love you, that I don't want the best for you or that I don't think you have great potential.  The reality is all around you.  Everything I do and have done is because I love you.  Even my worst parenting mistakes have most often been motivated by love and wanting to help you reach your potential.  

I'm proud of the things you have learned in the last 28 years.  You have learned empathy.  You have learned to manage your anger.  You have learned that what is best for you isn't always best for others.  I have great hope that you will now learn to trust.  Please trust me when I tell you that I have loved you from the minute I laid eyes on you.  I have loved you when you have made big mistakes and when you have suffered.  I love you now and I always will.   Happy Birthday my big beautiful boy.  

Love, Mom