Tiffany

Wilson called today.  Normally I keep the conversations pretty short because they usually involve dishonesty, criticism and lots of blame.  There was all of that as usual, but there was also more. I'm glad the spirit prompted me to stay on the line.  I’m glad I listened to the spirit and to Wilson.

Last weekend Wilson met with his birth Mom, Tiffany.  He said it was awkward because they all just acted like they were old friends, which they weren’t.  Also, Wilson probably just showed up without plans for lodging or meals or anything.  Poor Tiffany was in Vegas to party with her boyfriend and may not have been prepared for the Wilson package.  

Wilson said that during one quiet, private moment, Tiffany told him that she knew right away that he was not her baby (ouch).  He acknowledged that it hurt when she said that.  However, Tiffany said that she had fasted and prayed and felt like we were Wilson’s real parents.  I wasn’t sure how to respond when he just blurted out, “but, “I’m your baby.”  That was his direct quote, said with a little bit of a question mark.  I responded that yes, he was mine. I’ve done all the work that earns me that title.  I didn’t need to remind him that he was a hard kid.  He laughed and said that he had told Tiffany she’d dodged a bullet, because he was so tough.  Then he said she and I were the same personality, which I assume means we are both tough mothers.  

In reality I do have a lot of anger toward my kid’s birth Moms.  It’s a little unrealistic, I know, but I get so mad at the hole they left in my kids that I can’t fill.  

Wilson then surprised me with this question, “What do you feel about everything, Mom?”  When I recovered enough to respond, I told him I feel like there cannot be enough people to love you.  I told him  I feel like God’s plan is to connect families and gather his children, and adoption connects families through sealing a child.  I said I used to feel threatened, but don’t anymore.  

Then I said Mom stuff, like find a part time job so you have consistent income, go exercise, and eat your vegetables.  And I said:  I love you, son.  Because he always has been, and always will be, my baby.