I love Saturday Halloweens. We had a relaxed and peaceful day: a good run, homemade granola, trimming trees, carving pumpkins and healthy Halloween party with friends. Rain poured on the trick or treaters last night so the haul wasn't as ridiculous as usual. Max was happy and anxiety free this year, a stark contrast from last year. When plans changed last minute he was able to roll with it and have fun anyway--gives me great hope. Eliza went as bat girl and Marcos was a train engineer.
We still don't hear much from Wilson. Several people have attempted to make contact with him, but with no success. I was able to complete his official medical withdrawal from school and petition for tuition reimbursement. It would be a tremendous financial blessing, a tithing blessing.
During my last visit, I recognized the palpable absence of fear in the temple. When I'm there, I don't know why I worry about Wilson. I feel confident that the grace of the Savior's atonement and the sealing power will ensure his return to us and Heavenly Father. But I don't know how to maintain that assurance when my feet step out of the temple. Lately it seems that mortality is singularly the experience of managing fear.
There is a lot of space in my life right now, empty shelves and wide margins. The emotional and physical requirements to raise Wilson are gone. It is taking some deliberation to reassign that energy to the right things. I feel anxious to be directed by the spirit and not waste time or talents.
Cooper is busy. He is the lead in the junior play, a star tuba and piano player in the band and the dunk master of the Eagles basketball team. Coop is a faithful seminary attender, which I appreciate. He is a highly social boy and fills his weekends with lots of activities with friends. Lately he is making more deposits than withdrawals in the trust bank and is enjoying more freedoms. We pray often that he isn't just dancing the steps, but is hearing the music.
Eliza finished her basketball season. She is a great team player. Grandma and Grandpa came for her last game and to see her highlighted her 8th grade year. Max cheered her on with the football team--in a dress! Eliza also got her braces off! Sometimes her confidence is shaky and I hope we can find something that will help her realize how great she is.
Max loves playing basketball! He had a terrible scare when the State athletic committee announced that 6th graders wouldn't be allowed to play. He came home in tears. I was pleased that he turned to the Lord in prayer and when we got a call later that night that the decision and been reversed, we were able to give all the credit to Heavenly Father. Max had a good experience working hard at a geography test and succeeding. Max seems to be gaining in confidence and ability to focus.
Tony has spent most Saturday's at new convert baptisms. It has been amazing to watch him shepherd new members and nourish them in the good work of Christ.
I love the Old Testament. This year, more than the last OT seminary year, I am seeing constant temple references pointing to the Savior. Last week we studied the story of of Isaac and Rebekah. I recognized a clear pattern. True messengers are sent to assess the worthiness by looking for a sign. They recognize the sign and find a woman keeping the law of chastity and willing to obey and sacrifice (as evidenced by her work with the camels). They invite her into a covenant relationship with the bridegroom (The Savior). They promise all the blessings of the father through this covenant relationship. The messenger returns and Rebekah veils her face in symbolic gesture of this covenant.
Beautiful. Simple. Comforting.
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