Last weekend afforded us many happy connections with people we love. On Friday I was able to attend Carlos and Esthela's wedding in Saratoga Springs. It was a beautiful event only slightly marred by food poisoning that left at least 13 guests projectile vomiting. I only experienced the other end and to be honest, the birria tacos were still worth it. I got to see Jake and Callie and the kids for just a few minutes and give them all hugs before I headed to Amy's to celebrate her birthday. I always enjoy the one on one time with Amy and I think that is the gift she appreciates most. We enjoyed a hike, a visit to her school, Judge Memorial, and lunch at Feldman's deli. The latke's and matzo ball soup were amazing and we might have slightly overdone it on the reuban sandwich. No more pastrami for us for at least a year. We squeezed a DI visit and a clothing overhaul in too before I headed south to pick up Tony on the shuttle. We met Jeff and Betsy and Brad and Kim for yummy Mexican food and then to see the Foreigner at the Hale theatre in Orem. The play was great, although it's antagonists were members of the Klu Klux Klan and made us all very uncomfortable. A highlight of the trip was seeing Jason and Andrea for the night. We spent thge evening hashing out parenting and it turned. out to be a vulnerable night of self examination.
My take away-after getting pushed hard by my friends (read Jason) was that although I feel convicted to double down on parenting Sam this last year, it will look different. I don't need to teach. Everything I've needed to say, has been said. This year will be about invitation, modeling and loving with out expectation. Betsy taught us a theory that emphasizes that children are entitled to certain things and parents are obligated to provide them. This relationship is more vertical and highlights that children are not obligated to provide the same things to their parents. When we obligate them, dysfunction occurs.
I value respect and want my children to respect me. I've tried to hard to require it, but I think I am grasping (thank you friends), that I can only earn respect or give respect. I cannot require it. I am obligated to give it, but my children are not obligated to ensure I feel respected. Chelsea also pointed out that I can ensure self respect by having healthy boundaries, but that is only about me. More to learn, but I was humbled and thankful for the paradigm shift that will give me a lot to work on this year.
On Sunday morning we had a lovely breakfast with Tyler and Chelsea and were able to participate in Owen's ordination and be at church with him as he passed the sacrament. I hope he knows we love. him whether or not he holds the priesthood, but that we believe his choice will result in a happier life.
After church Betsy gave us a powerpoint presentation on Contextual Family Model (we are such nerds) then picked up Max to join us for family dinner. Tony got to see Eliza as an answer to prayer when she walked across the parking lot, although she couldn't join us because of work. Eliza is taking the semester off of school. Max is working on getting healthy and finding a job. We are proud of his efforts, although I struggle with feelings of resentment that are my problem not his.
On Monday we enjoyed a lovely Rock Canyon hike with Jeff and Betsy. Debbie and Rand made us a delicious roast lunch and we stayed to play games and visit. We get such delight from Adam and Rachel.
We had hoped to do some cross country skiing, but the snow just isnt quite ready. On Wednesday we enjoyed a snow hike instead in Spring Creek Canyon. It was fun to cross frozen sreams and tromp through the snow.
On Thursday we said goodbye to Mom and Dad Lundberg as they headed off to a Bahamas cruise. We were all horrified when the pilots didn't show up to fly the plane and they missed their cruise. It is everyone's worst nightmare. To be fair, this is the first time it has happened in almost 60 cruises!
Wilson has a new job working nights at Maverick. We are proud of his efforts.
Cooper, all of our family, experienced a miracle this week. One night Tony felt inspired to call Cooper and followed through despite my protests. In that call we discovered that Cooper had an unpaid ticket for which he did not receive any correspondence from the county. The county send warnings, revoked his license and finally issued a warrant for his arrest-all without his knowledge. When he finally found out the amount of mental and financial stress was terrible. Cooper was trying to work at his job while dealing with lawyers, police and bail. We began fasting and praying for him and now give Heavenly Father all the credit for the best case scenario outcome. When Cooper appeared in court, the prosecuting attorney approached him and asked for the story. Cooper told him and the attorney quickly acknowledged that it was the county's error. He asked the judge to throw out the case and mail back the bail money. Cooper replied to the judge, "With all due respect sir, I do not trust the mail system right now." The judge laughed and told him they would hold the check until he could pick it up.
Sam got rear ended by the high school baseball coach. It put a big whole in the back of his car, but we are most grateful he wasn't hurt. He is working hard at his new job at confetti kids and working out with the football team.
Harlow is blowing us away with her brilliant mind and advanced speech. Today she named all the numbers from 1-10 and appears to know her colors. She is busy and walking and continues to be pure joy. Her favorite toy are the keys, where she announces, "I'm going to work!"
