Christmas Eve Eve

 

Peaceful Christmas

 This Christmas, in the midst of a pandemic, political wackiness, closed temples and natural disasters, I experienced a level of peace that I have never felt. I have been pondering on how it happened.  First, it was a gift of mercy from a God who gives his children things they don’t deserve or earn.  Second, it was a result of a life of comfort and abundance that comes from Tony’s secure and well paying job and the generosity of Tony’s parents.  Third, it came from following gentle impressions and not sabotaging the revelation.

On Tuesday night Cooper and Jes called to cancel their trip.  Wilson had dropped the bomb of his  invitation to Stephanie Kelley for Christmas.  The potential for a family rupture was looming and the trauma of past Christmas’ was acute.   On Wednesday after Tony left for work a little thought came to my mind  to go to the Oregon Coast for Christmas, I mentioned it to Eliza, who suggested it to Max and Sam.  I expected Eliza and Sam to be onboard, but when Max said he would go, I didn’t hesitate.  I booked tickets and ignored the cost.  I found a VRBO and splurged for one with a hottub.  When Tony came home for lunch I told him the plan and all the disappointment he felt about Cooper and Jes not coming dissipated.  He booked the car.  Miraculously, I had  Christmas presents all ready, including stockings.  After a birthday visit and treat with Grandpa and Grandma Rippy we celebrated both Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.  Eliza was thrilled with her VLOG camera, Sam although not surprised, was pleased with his phone upgrade.  Max was pleased with his headphones and everyone seemed happy with their ukuleles   

Thursday morning the kids were all up and cooperative and by 8:00 we were on our way.  Travel was smooth and after a Christmas Eve dinner at Wendy’s and Taco Time, we arrived in Lincoln City.  That’s when it started:-an inexplicable relief of worry, concern and stress. A peace that was almost euphoric.  It was even fun to go get our groceries on Christmas Eve together and then snuggle in for the night.  Tony and Eliza and I took advantage of the hot tub and enjoyed a little fireworks show over the sea. We  watched movies, and ate treats.  We had a brief Christmas Eve program that involved reading Luke 2 and watching the church Christmas video. There were no expectations, no disappointments, no tensions.

Christmas Day Tony and I went for a beautiful beach run.  After breakfast we went to Pacific City to climb the dunes.  When Max chose to stay in the car I didn’t  feel panicky.  I continued to feel that surreal calm. We had a yummy ham and potatoes Christmas dinner and when the Martinelli’s exploded all over the table, my temper didn’t match it. All was calm, all was alright.   That night we watched movies together and Max gave what he could; about an hour of back scratching and scriptures.  That night we had the most tremendous rainstorm. It felt so soothing to be in front of a cozy fire with the rain pouring in sheets.  

On Saturday Tony and I enjoyed more breach time, had breakfast and took the kids to the mall.  Even at the mall, my least favorite place on the planet, I felt the calm.  All the kids found new shoes, but also made well thought-out choices that showed a modicum of financial smarts.  We ran to the beach for pictures and explored tide pools.  Again, I didn’t feel anger and resentment when Max and Sam didn’t last long.  I felt grateful they came for a picture and got along while they were doing it.  Peace.  Calm. Serenity,

Sunday morning we watched church and then Tony and I walked on the beach during our RS and quorum lessons.  I loved that.   It was beautiful and sunny and our drive back to the airport was beautiful through the Tillamook forest.  Everyone expressed gratitude for their Burgerville lunch.  

I want this felling to stay more than anything.  I must spend time figuring out how to grasp the ethereal and gossamer strands of my most peaceful Christmas ever.

Happy Birthday Sam, Samuel, Marcos, Mark, Marcus or whatever you want to be called today

 My dear many-named son,

This year in addition to exploring your identity with frequent name changes, you have tried on all kinds of personas.  The bad boy, the fashionista, the athlete, the social butterfly.  You are well liked  and good at making social things happen.  You've really struggled with grades as you have spent most of your energy figuring out your social identity.  Lately you have been keen to keep your closet neat and orderly.  I love going in to see all your clothes carefully organized and cared for.  You still love sports and spend lots of time watching and analyzing basketball and football.  You are also most aware of athlete uniforms and carefully critique styles and colors as much as you analyze stats.  You are adept at getting a rise out of your Dad by negatively and subtley insulting his beloved BYU cougars, but that's on him for taking the bait.  I love how much you share with me.  Sometimes I'm not as good of a listener because your chatter seems not to have an ending or a point, but our cartime conversations are one of my greatest treasures.  

This year to celebrate you walked to Lin's for a box of your favorite donuts, brought them back and celebrated with the Hainsworths.  You were pretty happy with your shoes and Gonzaga jersey, despite the lack of surprise since you picked them out.  Your LED lit room and Stance sock addiction are part of your trademarks as well.  

I appreciate your long suffering and persistent efforts to connect with your siblings.  You and Eliza had some fun video game and shopping time over thanksgiving and you never stop trying to connect with Max despite his equally persistent efforts to disconnect.  You are anxious to clear up your acne and build your biceps.  You are embracing your Hispanic nationality and even show signs of being proud of your country of origin.  

You are still the product of some really hard family dynamics.  We all have continued healing and work to do, but our family would be empty without you.  You have always been our chistoso and our source of laughter.  I'm so happy to be your Mom and grateful for everyday I get to discover more about you.  I love you Marcos Samuel Lundberg.  

Thanksgiving COVID style

 This was the first year in a very long time that the Blughesworths were not all together for Thanksgiving and the Hughes/Barrows family were very missed.  Thankfully, the rest of us were able to gather in sunny St George for good food,  lots of pickleball and pandemic relief.  It was expecially fun to have Jake and Callie and the boys here and we discovered how much we have missed homemade rolls and babies! (Callie proved to be Audrey's daughter 100% in the baking department).  

Monday night Luke, (and his dog Hershey) Anna and Halle Caviness came from Provo a couple of nights early.  They were a little shaken after witnessing the suicide of Luke's roommate and needed to be in a safe place with people.  Thankfully we could put Luke in the trailer in the garage- such a blessing for him to have his own space.

On Wednesday Tony had to work, so the rest of us shopped and played.  Early afternoon Tony was asked to come evaluate our neighbors cut finger for stitches and got to escape work early!  We had our hungry pilgrim feast and tucked in for games and talk.  Andrea and I ran a plate of pie out to Wilson, but his COVID exposure prevented him from coming. 

Our feast on Thursday went so smoothly.  Tony's smoked turkey was amazing.  I'm grateful he takes over that part. Everyone pitched in and dinner was delicious, nothing burned or raw.  One highlight of the day was the drive-by grandparents that dressed up in their finery and came for a plate to eat in their car.  

Jack did really well and was enthralled with the baby.  He and Sam spent several morning at the gym and Jack was a particularly good friend to him.  Max isolated most of the time, but I tried hard to notice his efforts at connection.  Eli and Jonah were especially kind and took a plate of food to Wilson.  I know he appreciate seeing his friends and being remembered.

Friday Tony and Jake went mountain biking then met us at Aspiration Point.  Everyone came and hiked the whole thing-a Thanksgiving miracle.  We celebrated our hike with Popeyes and then enjoyed the sunny afternoon together.  Tony, Jason, Jonah and Lily played almost 6 hours straight of pickleball and loved every minute.  Sam figured with everyone here it was a great time to celebrate his birthday.  He picked up donuts and pizza and we had an unofficial birthday party celebrating his 14th!  

By Saturday most everyone had caught a flight or headed north and we got to enjoy a calm peaceful day with Callie and Jake and the boys.  Jake and Tony did a bit more mountain biking and Callie Eliza and I did a little shopping.  I got to spend a lovely afternoon watching the boys.  Both Henry and Oliver bring me so much joy.  If this is grandparenting, count me in.  

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  I like the pie and the leaves.  I like that there isn't a focus on gifts, but a great focus on connection.  I'm so grateful that COVID didn't rob us this year of my favorite time.  

One extra special Thanksgiving blessing was the chance to see the Arslanians and enjoy the kids for the afternoon.  They are such special people and I miss them so much.