Happy New Year 2021

 On New Year's Eve I pulled out our hard drive with back up photos to review some of our past Christmas memories. I began frantically searching through folders finding them empty of pictures and replaces with video gaming and music.  Wilson had erased our hard drive.  I started spiraling into despair over the lost 10 years of our documented family life when Tony reminded me of the blog.  I was so grateful and relieved that in 2007 I started recording the good and hard in our family and that we had at least a few pictures.  It is highly motivating to continue our record, as pathetic of an effort as it is.

I was reflecting on 2020 and felt grateful for the healing that came after ripping off the bandaid of moving from St John.  I can say that after a gap year of rest and refocus, particularly after the quiet of quarantining, I am starting to feel a pull toward service and self improvement.  We will be studying the DC this year which will give all of a us a chance to "correct errors, clarify wording and recognize developments in our understanding" of the Doctrine of Jesus Christ.  I'd like to focus on the idea of trying to live resurrected, now.  In other words, rather than soothing the disconnect between body and spirit that happens during mortality with counterfeits, I will work to reconnect, reintegrate and stay present.  This state of resurrection is how God exists.  He will help me do this if I turn to him.  Any other soothing behavior that allows my body and spirit to remain disconnected is from Satan; it is sin.  So to use Adam Miller's phrase, I want to live an early resurrection, with body and spirit constantly integrated and my connection to God constantly present.  I am curious to see how my ability to stay connected to God by living in a state of early resurrection will facilitate other connections with people I love.  Control, shame, and resentment are the things I use to soothe when I feel the disconnect between body and spirit.  I'd like to not need those sins by turning to God instead and staying integrated.  

I'd also like to learn to swim faster.  I'd like to help Mom get her photos organized.  I'd like to travel once a month.  I'd like to join a Spanish conversation group.