Peaceful Christmas

 This Christmas, in the midst of a pandemic, political wackiness, closed temples and natural disasters, I experienced a level of peace that I have never felt. I have been pondering on how it happened.  First, it was a gift of mercy from a God who gives his children things they don’t deserve or earn.  Second, it was a result of a life of comfort and abundance that comes from Tony’s secure and well paying job and the generosity of Tony’s parents.  Third, it came from following gentle impressions and not sabotaging the revelation.

On Tuesday night Cooper and Jes called to cancel their trip.  Wilson had dropped the bomb of his  invitation to Stephanie Kelley for Christmas.  The potential for a family rupture was looming and the trauma of past Christmas’ was acute.   On Wednesday after Tony left for work a little thought came to my mind  to go to the Oregon Coast for Christmas, I mentioned it to Eliza, who suggested it to Max and Sam.  I expected Eliza and Sam to be onboard, but when Max said he would go, I didn’t hesitate.  I booked tickets and ignored the cost.  I found a VRBO and splurged for one with a hottub.  When Tony came home for lunch I told him the plan and all the disappointment he felt about Cooper and Jes not coming dissipated.  He booked the car.  Miraculously, I had  Christmas presents all ready, including stockings.  After a birthday visit and treat with Grandpa and Grandma Rippy we celebrated both Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.  Eliza was thrilled with her VLOG camera, Sam although not surprised, was pleased with his phone upgrade.  Max was pleased with his headphones and everyone seemed happy with their ukuleles   

Thursday morning the kids were all up and cooperative and by 8:00 we were on our way.  Travel was smooth and after a Christmas Eve dinner at Wendy’s and Taco Time, we arrived in Lincoln City.  That’s when it started:-an inexplicable relief of worry, concern and stress. A peace that was almost euphoric.  It was even fun to go get our groceries on Christmas Eve together and then snuggle in for the night.  Tony and Eliza and I took advantage of the hot tub and enjoyed a little fireworks show over the sea. We  watched movies, and ate treats.  We had a brief Christmas Eve program that involved reading Luke 2 and watching the church Christmas video. There were no expectations, no disappointments, no tensions.

Christmas Day Tony and I went for a beautiful beach run.  After breakfast we went to Pacific City to climb the dunes.  When Max chose to stay in the car I didn’t  feel panicky.  I continued to feel that surreal calm. We had a yummy ham and potatoes Christmas dinner and when the Martinelli’s exploded all over the table, my temper didn’t match it. All was calm, all was alright.   That night we watched movies together and Max gave what he could; about an hour of back scratching and scriptures.  That night we had the most tremendous rainstorm. It felt so soothing to be in front of a cozy fire with the rain pouring in sheets.  

On Saturday Tony and I enjoyed more breach time, had breakfast and took the kids to the mall.  Even at the mall, my least favorite place on the planet, I felt the calm.  All the kids found new shoes, but also made well thought-out choices that showed a modicum of financial smarts.  We ran to the beach for pictures and explored tide pools.  Again, I didn’t feel anger and resentment when Max and Sam didn’t last long.  I felt grateful they came for a picture and got along while they were doing it.  Peace.  Calm. Serenity,

Sunday morning we watched church and then Tony and I walked on the beach during our RS and quorum lessons.  I loved that.   It was beautiful and sunny and our drive back to the airport was beautiful through the Tillamook forest.  Everyone expressed gratitude for their Burgerville lunch.  

I want this felling to stay more than anything.  I must spend time figuring out how to grasp the ethereal and gossamer strands of my most peaceful Christmas ever.