One of my great insecurities is that I don't have the gift of discernment and empathy that my Mom has. She is very good at identifying people's needs and being empathetic to what their feeling. I am better described as oblivious. Truth is, I'm not a very good friend most of the time because I'm not sensitive to what my friend's need.
This weekend I went on a whirlwind trip to see Betsy. It was a fantastic 24 hours. We went to the temple, spent money at Nordstroms, cleaned out closets, tried on clothes and figured out what was going to go on James headstone. It was fun and relaxing, but it was more than that. What felt so good to me was knowing exactly what she needed. I knew she needed new pajamas and what style and size to get. I knew she didn't want to waste time going out to eat--we were fine with cheese sticks and granola bars! I knew how important it was to get the wording right for James headstone.
The thing is, I don't exactly know how it feels to lose a spouse and i would never suppose to know what Betsy feels. But it feels so good to be totally confident in our friendship, that any effort I make on her behalf will be what she needs, not just a weak attempt at service. When I die I would like to have this confidence in all my relationships, including my husband and children. Betsy has again inspired me to be a better person, rely more on the Holy Ghost and act in faith.
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