Depression, X-boxes and Conference

I do not make a very good depressed person. Instead of just being morose and gloomy, I get meaner than spit. Instead of sulking in bed, I turn into a drill sargent and heaven help the person who doesn't jump when I say frog. Last week was like that. It may have been extra adversarial attention as we prepared for General Conference or the "I'm turning 39 blues", but whatever it was the Lundberg house was pretty miserable.

Fortunately my depressive episodes are fairly short lived. My antidote this time was to cry myself to sleep, buy a new washer and dryer, and plan a family vacation to Mt Rainier for this upcoming weekend. Plus I talk to my friends who validate my discouragement instead of telling me how pathetic I am.

The video game problem at our house became unbearable for me. The Xbox felt like my enemy and even Wilson admitted that he was addicted to the games. It was all Max ever wanted to do with his friends. It was often a source of contention since Cooper owned the game and Wilson owned the Xbox. I know that video games, like money, are amoral, but they sure seemed to be an evil influence in our home. I felt trapped since the kids had purchased these items with their own money and with our permission. On my birthday bikeride the idea came to me to buy the xbox from the kids. It cost me several hundred dollars and has been worth every penny. The peace has returned. I guess I'm glad for the experience and now we know, but it was a painful 6 months.

General Conference was the most validating conference I've ever heard. All my insecurities about being too strict of a parent, too uptight about paying off our house and too rigid about trying to follow the prophet, were obliterated. I have now heard over the pulpit validation for not having sleepovers, not having video games, paying off a house, and preparing for a mission. I was validated in motherhood when Pres Uchdorf reminded us to slow down and acknowledged that some labor is "planning wholesome recreational activities."

I am 39. The weather was very cooperative and I spent my birthday with Tony , Callie and Amy at Rock Lake waterskiing. Audrey made me the world's best chocolate cake and Mom brought me two pumpkin pies. Tony bought me a docking station for my ipod so I can soak in the tub and listen to music. Over three days I got a bike ride, long run, canoe trip and roller blading time on the Fish Lake trail. I missed my usual birthday temple trip, but other than that, I felt pretty spoiled.