Maui

Our first visit to Hawaii is coming to an end. This island is warm, slow-moving and soothing. Our 6 days have given Tony time to recharge, relax and reboot. It has given me time to practice on focusing on Tony. I have been painfully aware that I am not very good at this.

We arrived on Thursday and picked up our rental car. A Mustang to my everlasting horror and Tony's delight. We hot-rodded ourselves to Keihai and did a quick grocery stop before finding our condo. Our condo was disappointing for several reasons: it was filthy dirty, had terrible internet service and was haunted. We know it was haunted because the alarm clock was possessed. I think our first dinner in Maui was our best, fabulous fish tacos and nutty, brown rice.

We were up and at 'em by 6:30 on Friday (time change) and headed to the National Park Haleakala, enjoying the sunrise the whole way. We had planned to hike all day on the sliding sands trail but Tony was still fighting his cold, got the gambu and was miserable. It was an amazing landscape in the crater and I could have spent all day watching the clouds flow in like waterfalls.

 We headed back down the volcano and found the Maui botanical gardens, where thankfully Tony started feeling much better. We loved seeing the flowers and plants up close and Tony especially like the baby Chameleons. We decided to explore the southern part of the island and headed down the Paloki Hwy until we found a dirt road and few cars.

 We stopped at the Ulukalapala Cattle Ranch and had a delicious lunch of pulled kalua pork sanwiches and fresh pineapple. After some crazy bumpy roads and one lane highways we ended up at the 7 sacred pools where we had an awesome hike to the waterfalls and a great trail run through a bamboo forest.

 Tony explored the pools whole I enjoyed a good stretch and view of the ocean. We wore ourselves out and opted for dinner in; omelets at home that night followed by a good soak in the
hot tub.

Saturday we grabbed a quick breakfast and headed out to explore the southern part of the island, again where the map warned us not to go! We found another dirt road that led to the last lava flow on Maui. The landscape was harsh and rocky and the beaches were black sand sprinkled with bright white coral. We found beautiful blue pools and a beach so isolated we could change into our swimming suits right out in the open. We had an amazing show by the whales and dolphins for over an hour as they jumped, sprayed, and spun. We loved watching the whales slap their tails on the water. 

After a quick lunch at home, Tony was anxious to try boogie boarding so I grabbed my book and we went to Big beach. The sun came out and Tony started really getting the hang of the waves, but not until he had been folded in two a couple of times. A storm came up at about 5:00 and blew us off the beach. That night we went for sushi at a local restaurant and came home to enjoy listening to the sound of a tropical rainstorm.

Church was at 9:00 on Sunday at the Keihai ward where everyone testimony started with "Aloha brothers and sisters." It was nice to sit with Tony in church and attend Sunday School and Relief Society-its been a while. I've never seen so many bare feet and flip flops at church and was a good reminder to me not to impose my physical demonstrations of worship and reverence on others. Our Relief Society teacher was unpolished in her lesson presentation but so genuine and sincere in her testimony. I loved when she said, "I am grateful to be a temple member." I can see a whole lesson developing on that phrase.

 After church we packed a picnic and began the windy road to Hana. Our first stop was at Jaws, a popular surfing spot and Tony was impressed with the size of the waves. The rest of the drive was as beautiful as the brochures say. Lush tropical flowers and plants literally canopy the road and there is a bridge and a waterfall at every turn. We stopped at several hikes including Twin Falls, a lovely waterfall and pool that reminded us of Multnomah in Oregon. Because it was a rainy Superbowl Sunday, we had no traffic to compete with and Tony loved taking the hairpin turns in "the 'Stang." I got pretty car sick, but Tony was grinning the whole time.

On Monday I went for a run and met up with Tony at a beach perfect for beginning surfers. He rented a board and rash guard and spent the next couple of hours attempting to master the sport. I enjoyed sitting in the sun and talking with friends while Tony tossed and tumbled in the waves. After lunch we drove up to Lahaina to meet up with Dustin and Kimberly and their friends Peter and Linda. They were staying near black rock and Tony was thrilled to have adventurous friends to cliff jump with. We also did some snorkeling and saw beautiful fish. I laughed when a sea turtle came face to face with Tony and startled him. We enjoyed an entertaining dinner that night at a Japanese Steak house with Dustin, Kimberly and their friends and got a quick look at the famous Banyan tree in Lahaina. It was fun to see that area of the island, but quickly determined it was too populated for hicks like us.

I woke up this morning so happy to be going home. The joy I feel after a good productive day in St John I can't replicate on vacation. I have a wonderful, fulfilling life right now that doesn't leave me wanting an escape. What I have clearly discovered on this trip, however, is that Tony is not in the same place as I am. His burdens and schedule are too heavy and his only reprieve is exodus. I have to learn to facilitate these escapes for him, and more importantly find joy in joining him. Tony has to learn to clearly communicate when he needs those breaks, or when he just needs me. (We are going to use the code word Maui!) I need to allow him to make more decisions and he needs to be more assertive and confident in the planning process. Tony is the most amazing business partner, parenting partner and lover, but he isn't my exclusively best friend. I want that to change and our trip to Maui was a good start.

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